Pokeumans Evergreen - Chapter 03

On the second day of her new life as that Squirtle's new roommate, Jade came home to find the place somewhat changed. The building was now three storeys big. Two statues of Squirtles were outside, their mouths squirting out waterfalls, their arms moving like gold chinese cat toys. The doorway from the main door had a red carpet, and had tiny four-meter-deep swimming pools on either side. The living room had a hot tub that could be moved, so you could watch anime on the massive cinema-sized screen while in the hot tub, or when swimming in the new olympic-sized swimming pool. The computer was still in the corner, with that same red carpet around it. It was now some pointy monstrosity with green and red lights, and it was now faster. She slithered upstairs, and saw everyone's room, still with just one bed... but it was now a massive bed, at least double the size of a king sized bed, and the bedspread and pillows had pictures of . She slithered upstairs and gasped in awe... The whole floor had been converted into one giant sun room! Lenses on the glass walls and mirrors around the room focused sunlight onto solar panels she could easily lie on, and soak in all the sunlight she wanted. It was also what was powering all the technology in the house. She slithered down into the basement, which contained a beanbag chair, cinema-style chairs, a cinema-sized television playing Kill La Kill, a popcorn machine, a stash of snacks, and bookshelves full of DVDs.

“Sischeckitoutwehavepopcorn!” Rose cheered. Jade slithered up the beanbag and found her sister coiled around the Squirtle Josh, and he was throwing popcorn into both their mouths. He now had blue skin and the beginnings of a shell, and he wore pants with a hole torn in the butt for his new Squirtle tail, but he was still a human. A balding and fat one. With an ugly swollen face.

“You two look comfy.” Jade commented.

“Idon'thavearms!” Rose sadded.

“There's room here for you, too!” Josh said suggestively, waggling his eyelids because he no longer had eyebrows. He wondered if he should draw some eyebrows onto himself

Jade rolled her eyes. “Believe me, I'd love to. But I can't.” She said sarcastically.

“Why not?” Josh asked, waggling harder.

“Some people... Can't just do whatever they want. Some people have destinies. Some people are destined for greatness, and others are destined to have their lives ruined.”

“Fine, be that way.” Josh said, rolling his eyes. “You don't need to threaten me.”

“I wasn't talking about you, you idiot!” Jade snapped.

“Huh?” Josh asked.

Jade gasped in shock. She was about to say something, but instead, she slithered off before he could say anything.

“What's eating her?” Josh asked Rose.

“She'sjustmadaboutbeingengaged.” Rose said, rolling her eyes.

“What do you mean?” Josh asked.

Rose gasped in shock. “I-Ican'ttellyou!”

Josh grabbed her body in a headlock and put a hand on the end of her tail. “Don't make me tickle you.”

“Youwouldn't.” She dared him.

He began rubbing his thumb on the tip of her tail, and she screamed and laughed as she squirmed and tried to get away. But in truth, she only pretended to squirm... He had no doubt she could tear his arms off with the incredibly solid rippling long muscles he felt inside this cute snake body. Was she holding herself back for his safety, even as his thumb brutally attacked her tail tip. “Talk! Ve hav vays of makink you talk!” He shouted.

She started talking so quickly he couldn't understand it at all. Not even a single word. It was like listening to a sped-up recording, but worse. She got faster and faster the harder he tickled, and tears started to leak from her eyes as she writhed in his arms.

He wondered if he should let go...

Nah. When he became a tiny Squirtle, he'd never be able to tickle her like this again.

He continued to tickle her as she screamed and laughed, and he grabbed the whole end of her tail, his fingers swirling around it at random. Her screaming and laughter grew louder and louder, until she gave one final yell as she gave up. “I'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalkI'lltalk!!!”

He released his grasp on her tail, and she sighed and relaxed in his arms.

“Woah.” He said, looking at his hands. “I've finally found something I'm good at. Tickling grass snakes. Now tell me why Jade is so emo!”

“She'sengadedtosomebigshotfromsomereallybigbaseinamerica. Hesaonemanarmyandhe'sthebiggestjerkyou'llevermeetbuthedoesn'tevennoticeitbecausehethinkshe'sthechosenoneandeveryonethatdoesn'tlikehimisevilorabullyorarival. Justbecausehehasfancypowershethinkshe'souronlyhope. Hegetstogoonallkindsofmissionsandsavetonsoflives,andheonlyhassomanyrescuesbecausehebecamestrongenoughtogoonmissionsalmostovernight. HethinksitsdestinythatmadehisdadlookatalistoftherichestandbestpokeumanbasesandvillagesandtellhissonaboutthebeautifulunwedJadeEvergreeninheritoroftheEvergreenvillage. Hisdad'susinghimlikeapawnandtheidiot'sfallingforithooklineandsinker. HisdadsentanemailtoBelindawarninghimthatbreakinghisheartmightcauseanexplosionofaurathatcouldwipeoutthewholetown. ThesecondhesawJadehecalledherhissoulmateandsaidhecouldfeelhisaurapullinghimtoherbutJadecouldn'tsayanythingbecauseofhisauraabilities. Momhatesitbutshecan'tdoanythingwithouttickingoffthebigshot'sdaddyandallthebaseleadersthatlovehisfamilyandallthelifesavingheroesthatcamefromitalotmorethantheylovesomestuckupplantsnake. ButJadesaidtonevertellyoubecausethisisherburdenandthisispolitics. Besidesit'snotlikeyoucoulddoanythinganyway. He'scomingbacksoontotakehertohisbaseandshe'llneverseeherfriendsorfamilyagain.”

“Woah.” Josh said quietly, letting go of the Serperior. She fell off the beanbag, and he immediately felt guilty about enjoying all this nice stuff this village had to offer when fate had dealt such an awful hand to the girl destined to inherit the town. He was having so much fun with Rose, and all Jade could do was watch a childish boy get everything he ever wanted. That must have been so awful for her...

He jumped down with her. “Where did Jade go?”

“Sheusuallygoestoaspecialtreetoclimbupandcryonwherenobodycanhearorseeher. I'lltakeyoutoher.” She decided, flicking him onto her back and slithering out of the house.

Racing along the ground, Rose practically flew, and Josh wondered what to say. Josh wondered if he even could say anything. He'd never had any kind of destiny set in stone for him, unless “You're a loser and you'll die alone and unloved surrounded by cartoon-covered body pillows and your own sweat and tears, lucid in your final moments as your defense mechanisms melt away and your love of Pokemon fades away and your body fills with loathing for yourself and the pathetic false life you've lead until the sweet release of death claims you” counted as a destiny. Or, he supposed, “You're a Pokemon and you'll live in this beautiful village and you can't go home or go out in public, as these things will likely get you killed by the Illuminati, who hate Pokemon”.

He wished his mount would slow down, and give him a chance to collect his thoughts, but the beautiful green beast probably wouldn't understand the meaning of the word.

“Jade...” He whispered. “I'm coming.”